tehsheriff.org

Still Conflicted

Nathan and I are technically dating. Why? Because I asked him. Sort of. I called him and wondered if he would like to go out, but not a real relationship. We are boyfriend/girlfriend, but it is sans-emotions. It’s physical. I haven’t seen him though. And this was two days ago. I’ve talked to him a little bit and he’s supposed to come to this party thing I’m having tonight. We’ll see.

Also, I’m still talking to Michael. He stands by his wanting to be with me. But he didn’t break up with his girlfriend. Who tried to commit suicide last week. I don’t know whether he’ll actually break it off with her…if not, that just means I know him really well. I don’t think he’s going to. I’m not sure what’s going through his mind, but I’d really like to know.

Unfortunately, I don’t know if I can trust anything he says. He has lied about so much that I can’t trust him at all. It’s to the point where I don’t know if I could even believe him if he says his hair is black. Which it is.

I’m trying so hard not to care about him. It’s hard, but I think it’s working.

We talked for two hours last night and he knows I’m dating Nathan. He said some bad things about him, but that’s not very surprising. In fact, it’s somewhat expected. Michael’s jealous. Which makes me happy actually. It means he cares.

I’m just so conflicted. And it sucks balls.